On Children

由“黎巴嫩文坛骄子”卡里·纪伯伦所著,流传很广的诗歌——《论孩子》。相信这首诗歌道出了不少“儿女”的心声,也给“望子成龙”心切的父母们上了一课。无疑,出于各种原因,父母们常忽视了教育最为重要的目标之一——培养独立人格。他们总喜欢干预子女的一切重大人生选择(他们将此视为“爱”),毕竟在他们看来,孩子不仅是他们爱情的结晶,更是他们生命的延续,意义非凡。而对于一些父母,孩子就像他们脸上的“光彩”,在一定程度上代表着他们的社会地位和生活水平。他们把子女看作自己的“明天”,企图让子女实现他们未尽的梦想,似乎孩子不过是他们思想的衍生品。殊不知孩子就像他们一样,有着自己的思想,而这些思想中,不乏闪光点。而青春期的叛逆更多也是源于孩子对“独立人格”的觉醒。

喜欢这首诗歌的最后一节内容——父母就像“弓”,儿女就像“箭”,唯有这弓无比稳定,尽力弯曲,这箭才能射出得更坚定,飞翔得更远!

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

你的儿女并不是你的儿女他们是生命自身憧憬的儿女

他们借助你来到这世界,却非自你而来

并且,尽管他们在你身旁,却并不属于你

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their soulsdwell in the house of tomorrow,

Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

But seek not to make them like you,

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

你可以给予他们的是你的爱,却不是你的思想

因为他们有自己的思想

你可以庇护的是他们的身体,却不是他们的灵魂

因为他们的灵魂栖息于明日

那是你做梦也无法到达的地方

你可以拼尽力气变得和他们一样

却不可以让他们变得和你一样

因为生命不会后退,也不会逗留在昨日

You are the bows from which your children

As living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

And He bends you with His might,

That His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

So He loves also the bow that is stable.

你是弓,儿女是从你那射出的

朝气蓬勃的箭

弓箭手望着无尽的前路上那箭靶

他用尽力气将你拉开,

使他的箭可以射得又快又远

怀着愉快的心情在弓箭手的手中弯曲吧

因为他爱这飞翔着的箭

也爱那无比稳定的弓